Memorial Donations
Often, families will request that friends make a contribution to a specific cause or charity in lieu of flowers. There are many memorial funds available if the family does not express a preference. Some gifts may be deductible for tax purposes. Your funeral director is familiar with them and can explain each option, as well as furnish the donor with "In Memoriam" cards.
Sympathy Cards
It is appropriate and desirable to send a card of sympathy even if you are only an acquaintance. It is emotionally helpful to the family to know that they are in your thoughts and prayers. The card should be in keeping with your relationship to the family of the deceased.
Personal Notes
A personal note of sympathy is very meaningful. Express yourself openly and sincerely. Families in sorrow welcome an expression such as "I'm sorry to learn of your personal loss."
Telephone Call
Speaking to a family member gives you an opportunity to offer your services and make them feel you really care. If they wish to discuss their recent loss, don't hesitate to talk to the person about the deceased. Be a good listener. Sending a telegram expressing your sympathy is also appropriate. Suggest practical offerings of your service. You might volunteer to take children to school, greet visiting family members at the airport, or run errands.
Sympathy Expressions
Often, a handshake or embrace might be appropriate. Simple statements of support and sorrow are usually the best.
If the bereaved person wishes to talk to you about the person who has died, let them, and be a good listener. Talking about the deceased is an important first step in healing from grief.
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